Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize