This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
