I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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