i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
