Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
