I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
