here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
