In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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