I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
