.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
