he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
