I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
