We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
