So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
