i was born a porn star she said
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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