I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize