i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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