I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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