I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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