the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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