in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
