i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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