so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
