I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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