walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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