As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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