and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
