he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize