i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
