I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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