Do you still have your period?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
