can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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