I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
