i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
