someone threw a dead crab at me
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i need some magic done to my vagina
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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