my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
