just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
