her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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