I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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