well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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