Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
