What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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