i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
