He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
