I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
