it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
