Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize