i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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