Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
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and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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