no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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