wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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