I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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