My friends, they love my intelligence
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
