i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize