The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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